1. |
🌙
02:00
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2. |
Aquarius Dipshit
01:16
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I may become wine drunk in anticipation of tomorrow
Oh, horrid life lived in emails
And we’re all facing the same direction at the stoplight and
We’ve all got some ideas about each other’s lives and
I don’t know where I’ll be sleeping next year and
Will you be sleeping on my memory foam?
Or will you be sleeping in my phone?
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3. |
Frank <3
01:42
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Frank the plant says,
I’m blooming and dying all at once
All at once
He sits on my desk
Waiting for the sun to come
I open my blinds to find
We’ve been blind all this time
Sensing the world with our feet
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4. |
phantasmagoria
01:31
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When I look straight ahead
I can still see the cracks in the sidewalk
Creeping, creeping beneath me
They cannot touch me
I’m swiping right on all who see me
Can you see me?
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5. |
Chering is Caring
03:38
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I’m made of ashes
I’m drinking milk
I am a fatass
Fuck me in silk
Kiss me and sing me to sleep
And I’ll write you a song cause you’re sweet
Kiss me and sing me to sleep
And I’ll write you a song cause I’m sweet
And the song will be yours to keep
If I were Cher
I might not share
But I’m not Cher
So you don’t care
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6. |
Nude.jpg
01:55
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I hate that I find you attractive
You’re honestly pretty generic
And when I wake up from this nightmare
I’ll still be a pile of ashes
How’d you become a diamond
When I’m just a fool for guys with glasses?
Wasting away at an office thinking of
Worms and how I’m just one of them
I’m writing this song colloquially
In a literal way
To demonstrate how I’ve stopped
Giving a fuck about anything at all
And I’m bleeding like I did in 2015
But it’s not the same
You lost all my silverware and you don’t care
My love’s at a sushi bar and Ross isn’t here anymore
And Erin’s getting married in the springtime
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7. |
Is It Eulogy Time
03:15
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Today I looked up how to die
But all I got was the suicide hotline
I’m laughing at myself
Who’s the idiot walking backwards?
It’s a very good day to throw my body
Bleeding to the sun
And I crawl home with the night
My scrapes are oozing
Stupid words and phrases I don’t mean
I don’t wanna go to sleep but
I’ve no one to speak with
Don’t wanna go to sleep just yet
Oh say can you see
I’m disappearing
Fading in and out
Houston, do you read me
How’s the party
Are the boys cute
Will you pour one out for me
Still waiting on an answer
My apologies, how rude of me
I’ll never understand
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8. |
You Like Cats
02:39
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You’re the kind of guy who fucks me up
Maybe someday you’ll grow up
I am red and you are sour
I’ll be in your bed in an hour
I am pink and you are sweet
You’re the one I want to read to me
I am crazy and you are blazing in the living room
I love you and I’m above you and your
Pseudomelancholia gaze
Sometimes I sleep on my face
Sometimes I hope I suffocate
You like cats and I like everything
With good intentions
I always want to kiss your face
Sometimes I hope you suffocate
I love you and I’m above you and your
Pseudomelancholia gaze
I wish I were good at math
You wish you were a psychopath
But you’re not special to anyone but me
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9. |
||||
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Stop gaslighting me from your whitewashed city
The void is expecting me, you cannot bury me
Stop gaslighting me with your whitewashed city
The void is expecting me, you will not bury me alive
America, I’ve given you my all
And you have given me blisters and sexual assault
I refuse to be your woman anymore
I refuse to be your woman anymore
America, I’ve given you my all
And you have given me trauma
Resulting in art I never asked for
They only like you when they can oppress you
They only like you when they can undress you
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10. |
Invocation
02:36
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This is goodbye
I will try not to hold on
To what I thought was myself
Dip me in flames
Holy and tame
If you’re there, Lord
Please take her away
Incinerate my brittle arms
And leave me with wings
Incinerate all my little scars
And leave me clean
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11. |
Lavender
02:39
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I am the apple you abandoned a park bench
I am waiting patiently
You said that I look so delicious in the light and
I am only 23
I am sitting in the parking lots of
Places I don’t really want to be
You said that I am not relatable but
You weren’t there when I learned how to speak
My body is a currency and
I don’t think I have much left to barter
You’re throwing out the old receipts and
All this time my heart is growing harder
My lavender deodorant won’t save me from my
Garbage intuition
My body is currency and I am lacking
Adequate precision
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12. |
||||
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I don’t know you but I’m
Stuck in a rut
Will you help me out?
Vulnerability, I said your name
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13. |
Hi I'm Terrible
02:29
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I’ll return to you
Covered in pine needles and dew
With a mouthful of glue
It is dripping down my chin and
I must go away again
These are just words that I don’t care about
I just wanted you to eat me out
I’ll return to you
Covered in pine needles and dew
With a mouthful of wet cement
I’ll never say your name again
I’ll never be a blue whale
Until I grow
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14. |
||||
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Drowning is a way
That I could die and stay hydrated
And the blueness of the water could caress me
The earth and all its elements would swallow up
The nothingness I tend to feel
When I am at the office
And you with all your sentiment
Could gaze upon the elegance
Of my blue body drifting towards the darkness
Of my blue body sinking towards the darkness
I flushed my dead fish the toilet today
And I’d like you to leave me alone
I’m liable to fake my death
To rid myself of loneliness
While killing all the things
That you expect from me
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15. |
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I can’t remember your face
But I remember when you fucked me on a Sunday
I’m so personal, personal
When I write these songs and I’m
Drawing my blood to keep
Under the floorboards
In vials
vile, vile
I can’t remember my face
But I remember when I used to carry moon rays
Now I’m visible, visible
Three meals a day
And I want you to know that I’ll
Never be okay
You don’t have to smile
vile, vile
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16. |
PTSD
02:33
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My fears are leaking into your coffee
And summer’s creeping out the door
Do the seasons matter anymore?
Ooh, you’ll never know me, ooh
It’s just as well
I am looking for myself in the dark
And the physics of my presence fall apart
I am glowing, floating scraps of
Patterned fabric
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17. |
Interlude
00:48
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18. |
Mambo No. Fuck You
01:59
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My first words were “hot coffee” and
I don’t think you’ve ever loved me and
I can’t tell if I’ve ever loved a single person
In the way that I’m supposed to
My mom said that I’m a slut
And I doubt she’d like this song
But she will never hear it
Cause she won’t listen
My dad said that I can starve
When I was sick and etching lines of scars
Into my body
Cause I don’t matter
And I am not afraid
For I’ve been sleeping in my grave
For all these years and I
Can stay there if I’d like to
I can stay there if I’d like to
I can stay there if I’d like to
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19. |
Lacuna
00:24
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20. |
Finger Nails
04:10
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I found hope when I thought I felt
A gentle touch on the back of my hand
It was my own hair
And in fright, I say don’t you dare touch me like that
Touch me like that, I say
Each new season finds an old way to make me
Uncomfortable
Girls aren’t allowed to be so explosive
Call me crazy, I’ll kill you
Don’t touch me, I’ll kill you
Calm down now, it’s over
And I’m talking to myself again
Talking to myself again
Girls aren’t allowed to be so explosive
The seams of my boots dig into my feet
Like jello wrapped in fishing line
The car door rips out another few strands
Of my hair
I remember when my fingernails were grey and dead
And perhaps I should have given up then
Have you ever resented your pet for never speaking?
No one acknowledges me
I’ve been possessed before
That was years ago
I’m still hovering close
To those skeleton hands
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Eliza Juno Richmond, Virginia
independent songwriter, keyboardist, and producer in Richmond, VA.
they/them
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